Problems...Word

Here are some word problems for the slacker inside all of us. Richard Linklater would probably approve of them if he was not so busy doing stuff. At least The Dude abides. And I take comfort in that. I am sure all of you can relate to these word problems. We have all been a slacker at one time or another. If you have not, then you probably like Tom Tancredo's chances of being elected president.

Warning: These word problems involve math. If numbers irritate you, leave.

The answers are listed at the end. DO NOT skip ahead. That is called cheating. Only slackers cheat, and you do not want to be called a slacker.


Questions:

1.) Chico walks into his room and notices his alarm clock is flashing "6:54." The PM light is not on. Chico immediately hits the time button and sets the time for 6:55. His cell phone says that the actual time is 10:26 PM. The next day, Chico wakes up to see that his alarm clock says it is now at 7:27 PM. If he has to be at work by noon, and the drive takes 20 minutes, will he be on time?

2.) Chico has 5 rolling papers left and enough tobacco for 8 cigarettes. He needs 2 cigarettes for when he wakes up, 1 for after his shower, 2 for the drive to work and 1 for before work. How many cigarettes must he bum before he can get a new pack during his break?

3.) Chico has $23.43 in his pocket as he walks into a bar. Because Chico doesn't drink beer, each mixed drink will cost him $6 and he will tip $2. How many drinks can Chico have before he runs out of money?

4.) Once again, Chico has waited until the last minute to complete his assignments for class. He has three papers due in 17.5 hours. It takes Chico 35 minutes to write one page, single spaced. The first paper must be 5-7 pages in length. The second paper must be 7-10 pages in length. The third paper must be at least 5 pages in length. Additionally, it takes Chico 35 minutes to proofread and correct for each paper. It will also take 10 minutes to print and staple all the papers and 20 minutes to get to class (the papers cannot be emailed). Will Chico have enough time to finish the papers?

5.) Chico is running low on gasoline and money. He has 17 dollars left and needs to get home to "withdraw" some money. He currently has 1 gallon of gas left. He needs 5 gallons of gas to reach home. The price of gas at the nearest gas station is $3.11/gallon. Will he have enough money for the gas, a pack of cigarettes which costs $4.79, and a can of Mountain Dew which costs $.75?

6.) Chico just bought 1/8 of an ounce of weed. With his Blissett Bucket, Chico only needs 1/24 of the 8th of weed to get sufficiently stoned. If he smokes twice a day, how many days will it take for him to go through all his weed?

7.) Chico has a show with his band tonight at a bar. As stated earlier, Chico does not drink beer. Each drink will cost Chico $6 plus a $2 tip. Chico will drink 7 drinks through the course of the night. If Chico's cut of the night's profits comes to $80, how much money will Chico have left at the end of the night?


Answers:

1.) Yes: Chico will make it to work on time because Chico does not have a job.

2.) None: Someone at work already owes Chico 7 cigarettes.

3.) 7: Chico will only pay for one drink and get the rest for free through proposition bets.

4.) Yes: Chico has already received a 2 day extension on all three papers and his Adderall will be with him tomorrow.

5.) Yes: He has enough gas to get him to a gas station that sells gas for $2.99 and is on his way home. Additionally, it is a Super WaWa so he can get his cigarettes for $4.25.

6.) 30 days: Chico has smoked enough people up over the years that there are more than a few people ready to get him high.

7.) $80: Chico does not pay for drinks when he plays (which is why he plays) and the band tips the bartenders $20 before the count their profits.


Hope you enjoyed another waste of time...